Parents Yelling Directions from the Stands

By CoachC | May 11, 2026 |

I’ve been wanting to revisit this topic for a long time, because it goes all the way back to some great conversations I used to have with a sport psychologist. She was a coach, a college professor, and her specialty was parent–athlete communication. The two of us connected instantly, because I’d spent decades dealing with the same issues from the coaching side.

One thing we talked about often was the confusion young players feel when they’re getting shouted instructions from the stands. And let’s be honest — most parents mean well. They’re excited, they’re nervous, and they want their child to succeed. But meaning well doesn’t always translate into giving good advice.

In fact, a lot of the advice yelled from the stands is way off base.

If you’ve been around the game for any length of time, you know exactly what I’m talking about. A parent sees their child under pressure in the defensive zone and shouts, “Up the boards!” It sounds safe. It sounds simple. But to an opposing forechecker, that’s a gift. That’s exactly what they’re hoping for.

What a coach actually wants is something very different. We want the puck carrier’s eyes up. We want them scanning. We want them finding the open teammate instead of throwing the puck away out of panic. That’s how players grow. That’s how they learn to solve problems instead of avoiding them.

And here’s the real issue: when a player hears one thing from the bench and something completely different from the stands, they freeze. They hesitate. They start second‑guessing themselves. Once that happens, the game gets harder, not easier.

I know coaches can’t exactly gather all the parents and run them through a systems clinic. But I do believe this topic belongs in every early‑season team meeting. Not as a lecture, not as a scolding — just a simple explanation of how mixed messages affect a young athlete’s confidence and decision‑making.

Parents want to help. Coaches want to teach. Players want to learn. When everyone understands their role, the whole environment becomes calmer, healthier, and far more productive.

Below is the short podcast episode that goes along with this post. So give it a listen, if you would…