Is That All There Is?

Just a little daydreaming today, or a little bit of the old coach’s philosophy.  Not everyone is going to agree with this.  Still, you probably ought to give the gist of this some serious thought, and maybe adapt it a little to your own parenting or coaching approach...

Now, older CoachChic.com members might remember the above as the title to a hit song made popular by Peggy Lee.  In that song she talks about finally achieving or experiencing certain things that always seemed so — I don’t know — glamorous, perhaps?  Each time, however, she’d come to the conclusion that the something special wasn’t all it was cracked-up to be when she did attain it.  Or, as the title goes, “Is that all there is?”

Actually, I often jokingly use that phrase with family and friends.  But I also tend to keep it in mind as I deal with young hockey players.

For example, by now, you probably know that I’m not in favor of off-season games.  That wasn’t always the case, though.  No, as I dealt with earlier generations I dragged my teams all over the place, and I had my players skating numerous times per week.

During the winter months, we’d play in tournaments all over creation — throughout New England and to two Canadian provinces.

Of course, some of those experiences were good for my kids.  But then…  But then…

But then, I heard an interesting interview with a Division I college coach.  Because it was long ago, I’ll have to paraphrase it as best I can…  His main concern had to do with the difficulty coaches at his level were having with motivating their players.  Or, as he explained, “By the time we get them, they’ve already played a hundred of the most important games of their lives!”  (Again, I know I don’t have the words exactly right.  But, his point is right-on.)

Among the things that comment made me think about?

How about coaching in a Canadian tournament that had me (an adult) as juiced as I’d ever been?  I mean, even back in the 70s there were pro-like theatrics — with lights, loud music and all sorts of recognition for the players and coaches.  I’m talking excitement here — to the max.

And how about this (adult) coach being so up-tight for a kids’ tournament game that he heaved on his front lawn upon returning from the rink?

And I also have to think about what had to be — and still is — going on at home with families who are engaged in games like I’ve just described.  Are the parents prepping their kids in every way, possibly giving those kids the sense that “This is THE most important game of your life!”?

Don’t get me wrong.  I understand the reasons tournaments are held, and I even appreciate the efforts folks make to organize such great events.

At the same time, I’ve worried in recent years whether kids reared in the above circumstances can get as excited as they should be skating their first varsity high school game.  That should be a big deal, you know.  And so should it be considered a very big deal if a young guy or gal gets to play at the junior or college level.

Then, yet another related matter…  In an old audio program, I make the point that more serious — and sometimes painful — preparations go into playing at the higher levels.  And in order to really attack tough workouts, a young guy or gal needs to have some serious desire or motivation.  One of my concerns, if you haven’t guessed it, is that a player might be completely spent before he or she reaches that level.

Combining these two points, perhaps you’ll at least appreciate my hopes that the next (and maybe the next and the next) goal seems a worthwhile one to an athlete.  And I’m thinking that’s less likely if he or she has already experienced “the heights”, and maybe even asked himself or herself already, “Is that all there is?”

Finally, you’d probably like to ask me how I can espouse so much year-round training while at the same time suggesting we back-off a bit in some ways.  In answer to that, however, I’ll suggest that protecting a player’s love of the game is a really tricky proposition.  I mean, there’s a delicate balance required between making sure a player is totally capable and feeling good about himself or herself, while at the same time holding back a bit so that they still want a little more.